The old Switcheroo
by Tabbypants
Summary: The crew of Serenity find themselves in an alternative reality after being chased into a wormhole by Reavers. This alternative reality is identical in every way including it's own Serenity complete with crew except for one small difference...
Chapter 1.

Simon had been watching his sister for the last thirty minutes, she just stared out the window like a statue unmoving unblinking. Simon looked at Wash who shrugged and did his best to look busy in the hope the doctor would leave him to his piloting. River wasn't an issue she wasn't doing anything to bother him.  
"You say she's been like this for an hour now?" Simon asked  
"Yeah pretty much," Wash replied, pretending to concentrate on something.  
He was sincerely hoping Simon would lose interest in him and return to the infirmary.  
"Has she said _anything_?" Simon insisted in the usual doctor to patient tone he used on all the crew.  
"Not a word" Wash replied then felt compelled to elaborate "she just wandered in here about an hour ago, went to that spot and she hasn't moved since. She's not bothering me but Mal said you should probably be told that your sister was acting strange...well more strange than usual. His words" Wash threw his hands up to show he had no problems with River.  
The doctor tended to be a little protective of his sister. Simon seemed satisfied with that and turned back to her.

"River, it's Simon," he said approaching her slowly so as not to startle her. It was never a good idea to sneak up on his sister. Still no reply. Simon stepped up and put a hand on her shoulder. It was as though she came out of a trance, her pupils retracted and she rocked back on her heels.  
"Simon" recognition in her eyes.  
"River, are you okay?" he asked his hand still on her shoulder concern plain on his face.  
"I..." she turned and looked around at the bridge as if noticing it for the first time "Did I do something wrong?" she sighed. Sometimes she did things she wasn't aware of, until of course the captain got angry and then Simon came to her rescue making all kinds of excuses. Ever the big brother. Right now it was written all over his face that she'd had one of her "crazy" times. She only hoped she hadn't hurt any of the crew. Captain Mal would be really upset if she had. He may even threaten to drop them on some planet on the edge of the 'verse, again.  
"You didn't do anything. I was just concerned. You have been staring out that window for an hour now and I just wondered what it is you see?" Simon asked.  
"Stars," River replied ambiguously.  
"So, you were just looking at the stars?" He seemed to relax somewhat and River decided she liked relaxed Simon better than worried Simon so she would keep him that way.  
She would not tell him of the feeling of unease crawling in the pit of her stomach.  
"Yes, people always say they're beautiful... but really they're just massive, luminous spheres of plasma held together by their own gravity. For part of its life a star shines due to thermonuclear fusion of hydrogen into helium in its core. That releases energy that traverses the star's interior and then radiates into outer space." River explained then continued "still they do look pretty".  
Simon smiled. She was having a lucid day and sounded just like the sister he knew and had grown up with. Well at least until the age of fourteen. That was when she had gone away to the academy and they had conducted secret experiments on her by cutting into her brain.  
Since he had rescued her she had not been the same and it was nice to have a "lucid day". What he called the periods when she wasn't taken over by the almost madness that claimed her a lot of the time. Satisfied she was okay Simon removed his hand from her shoulder and turned to go when she said something that pulled him up short.  
"I wonder if we will ever be able to return home."  
"River you know it's not safe" Simon began "you know that they are still searching for us and if we went home it would only be a matter of time before they came looking for us there. We are in the safest place we can be right now."  
"I know, I just..." she didn't have to say it he knew she felt lonely. Even though they were together she still felt adrift and like she didn't fit in.  
It was easier for him. After all he had Kaylee. Well at least on those days he could talk to her without saying the wrong thing. He also had a role on the ship as medic and even the begrudging tolerance of the Captain but River didn't. She did have friends amongst the crew but she also knew they were wary of her. Especially on _those_ days.  
The sadness was there in her eyes, if you looked deep enough.  
Simon reached out a hand but she turned back to the window resuming her statue like stance and Simon knew her walls had gone up. He would not get anywhere now no matter how much he talked.  
Instead he turned to Wash who nodded the unspoken agreement, he would keep an eye on her and send for the doctor should anything change.

He passed the captain on his way to the infirmary.  
He was sitting with Zoe in the dining room laughing loudly most probably about something that had happened to them in the war against the Alliance.  
Somehow that didn't stop him from noticing Simon and stopping him for one of their 'what's your crazy sister doing now' chats.  
"How's that sister of yours?" Mal asked, and though he hadn't voiced it Simon knew what the captain was really asking him. The true question was 'what sort of day is she having?'  
"She's quite lucid today Captain I assure you. Just a little homesick actually" he replied  
"So there's nothing I should be worrying about?" Mal asked pointedly.  
"Nothing at all," Simon answered and then turned, eager to be on his way when Mal spoke again.  
"You better be telling me the truth doctor" Mal Said his tone menacing "I don't like surprises, nor do my crew. If I have to I'll-"  
"You'll set us down on one of the remote moons on the edge of the 'verse without a second thought" Simon jumped in "I know Captain, because you threaten us repeatedly. I also know you are a man of your word so I do not doubt that you would follow through on your threat but believe me when I say nothing is wrong. My sister is feeling a little homesick and missing our parents. If you don't believe me feel free to ask her yourself. Now if you don't mind I have some things to attend to, one of them being working out how to make my sister a little less... what did you call it again?... ah yes, whimsical in the brain pan. So if you'll excuse me. Captain. Zoe."  
Mal turned to Zoe and raised his eyebrows to which she shrugged and smiled.  
"Boy's got spunk, I'll give him that" Mal said, "but I also think he can be a little suicidal at times"  
"He is a very good doctor though Captain" Zoe said pointing the knife she was using to cut up her apple at Mal, " you have to admit that".  
"Oh he's a genius but that won't stop me from setting him and his sister down on some remote moon given they bring trouble down on us" Mal said heading toward the cockpit.

"How are we looking Wash?" Mal asked striding into the cockpit, straight past the startled pilot and up to the immobile River. "We're just shiny Mal," Wash replied immediately pulling his feet off the console in front of him "Not another ship in sight." "Just how I like my skies. Empty" he smiled briefly at Wash then addressed River as gently as a father would his own daughter.  
"Your brother says you're homesick." He let it hang there, staring out the window arms behind his back one hand clasping the opposite wrist.  
They must have seemed an odd pair standing there staring out into the black.  
Mal turned his face slightly to look down at the dark haired girl beside him.  
"I know it's hard on you and your brother, running from the law and I really do know. My crew and I have been doing it for years. It takes some getting used to not having a place to hang your hat but this life can be good once you adjust."  
He waited to see if he'd get a response. She continued to stare out the window only blinking occasionally so he continued.  
"I also know that I'm hard on you and your brother. Really I ain't no harder on you both than I am on the rest of the crew. After all, what we do is dangerous and I can't afford any mistakes, if mistakes get made people get dead. I can't afford to have any secrets so if you know something you need to tell me. I know you get these...feelings...about...stuff and well I need to know if you're getting any now."  
She remained like a statue.  
"Just remember it's not just you and your brother you're putting in danger it's Kaylee and the Shepherd Book, and a lot of other people" he added hoping the mention of the people he knew she was friendly with would encourage a response.  
Nothing.  
Mal sighed and turned around mute appeal written on his face. Wash shrugged and threw his hands up as if to say there was nothing he could do and then she spoke.  
"What makes you think I know something, Captain?"  
"Because you've been on this boat a long time already and you haven't been homesick once in all that time. Seems a mite strange that today when travelling through the outer reaches you'd suddenly want for home. Now I may not be as smart as that brother of yours but I know when something don't feel right and well...something just don't feel right."  
Mal stared into the brown eyes that seemed to see right into his soul. The sudden smile that came to the small face unnerved him.  
"You're more perceptive than you know, Captain." She said in a voice so much older seeming than this young girl staring up at him "but you deny it to yourself, preferring to call it luck. However I can see it in you. You know things."  
"I know one thing for certain, if you don't start making sense soon little girl-"  
"Fine. I can see that you're still not ready to admit it to yourself just yet but I ask you Captain, how come you're here questioning me? Accusing me of hiding things if you don't ..." the words died on her lips at the look on his face.  
She'd pushed him too far. She needed to salvage the situation.  
"There is something just beyond the shadow and just beyond hearing. It's getting closer. I can't see it clearly. It'll be here soon but for now all we can do is watch the skies" Her eyes returned to the window and the vacant look replaced the certainty that had filled her features a moment ago.  
Mal turned to Wash who shrugged and adjusted one of the toy dinosaurs he kept on the console. He was clearly saying without words that he had no idea what she was talking about.  
"I want you watching her" Mal hissed at Wash then went to the door of the cockpit before turning around and adding "and the skies".  
"You got it Mal." Wash smiled and turned to check the monitors cursing under his breath.  
Why? Why did they have to come into the cockpit to have their arguments? Why couldn't they just have them elsewhere? He never interfered with their jobs.  
Still it was nice to have the company, even if she wasn't much of a one for talking.

Inara sighed, this far from anywhere there was no chance of finding a client and she was at a loss for something to do. She'd showered. Dressed and fixed her hair. In fact she had tried as many hairstyles as she knew in an attempt to keep herself busy.  
She was bored.  
She exited her shuttle and made her way to the dining area. Finding it empty she moved onto the cargo bay.  
Jayne was in his usual place, lifting weights while Shepherd Book spotted him. They paid her very little attention, although Jayne did what he always did watching her passage from the corner of his eye.  
He'd watched her like that from the moment she'd joined their ship over a year ago now with the thoughts running through his mind written all over his face. One did not have to be a trained companion to read that mind and while she was quite sure he would make a pleasurable bed mate she wasn't about to start servicing the crew. She had assured Mal that would not form part of her criteria. Besides which her relationship with Mal was strained already and she wasn't about to drive him away by doing something stupid. Unless of course that stupidity involved Mal, then she would be willing to make an exception.  
"Ambassador," Shepherd Book greeted her in the name her used to address her ever since Mal had introduced her as such on the Shepherd's first day on board Serenity.  
She'd had her reservations about travelling with a Shepherd. They generally didn't approve of her line of work. Her "Whoring" as Mal called it when he wanted to hurt her but Book was not like any Shepherd she had ever before encountered.  
While he still didn't approve of her work nor did he ridicule her or offer her long sermons on the wickedness of her lifestyle.  
He was actually a good friend and an interesting conversationalist, with whom she had engaged in many a spirited debate. She would get no conversation today however as he was engaged in the manly pursuit of muscles. One could say this for the Shepherd he kept his mind and his body fit.  
Inara wondered if Kaylee was too busy to spend a moment with her. She would have loved to go in search of Mal, but she couldn't be sure it wouldn't end in an argument and this far from anywhere she preferred not to have Mal upset with her.  
It might be weeks before they would be near enough to any planet she could use to get away from his ire.  
She found Kaylee where she knew she would. In the engine room fiddling with Serenity's spare parts. Mostly she was just cleaning and fixing things that they may have need of if Serenity ran into trouble. Being that Mal didn't exactly run a legitimate business they took on salvageable parts from any space wreck they came across. It kept costs down and Serenity running.  
Kaylee being the mechanical whiz maintained the ship with said parts and kept them moving beyond the long reach of the alliance.  
Kaylee looked up from her work a brilliant smile on her face.  
"Oh hey Inara"  
"I brought my brush" Inara raised the brush as though brandishing a long sought after prize.  
"Sure, it's not like the Cap'n can complain there's nothin' needs doing and Serenity...well she's just purrin' like a kitten" Kaylee's smile widened as she took a seat in front of Inara.  
"You have such beautiful hair, maybe we should put it up." Inara mused as she pulled the brush through Kaylee's auburn locks "I'm sure Simon would love it."  
"Really?" Kaylee asked, "So you think he'll notice?"  
"Of course he would. He definitely likes you otherwise he wouldn't get so tongue tied around you. I know he says stupid things but take it from me that's a good sign that he's interested" Inara explained, "He just doesn't know how to show it."  
"Like the captain with you" Kaylee said brightly.  
Inara stopped brushing.  
"Kaylee I-"  
She didn't get to finish her sentence as Wash's voice came over the intercom chilling them to the bones with just one word.  
"REAVERS!"

The strained silence in the cockpit was made all the more palpable by the calm air everyone was trying to adopt in the face of the terrifying reality.  
They were in the far reaches, too far from anyone to even contemplate sending an S.O.S. and the sad thing was they had chosen to put themselves here. What they hadn't chosen were reavers.  
Men who had gone crazy with radiation and traversed the stars hunting for people to rape, eat and skin and not always in that order.  
They were probably not the most terrifying things out here in the black, but they were right now.  
The captain began barking orders and for once no one uttered an argument.  
"Wash we need to outrun them, go for hard burn"  
"I'm on it Mal" Wash flew into action as the Captain continued ordering everyone about.  
"Kaylee get to the engine room, I want Serenity giving us all she's got!"  
"You!" he said turning to Simon, "Take your Sister and head to the Shuttle. Here take this" he handed Simon a gun  
"Inara..." the pair stared at each other both wanting to blurt out all the things they longed to say, had wanted to say for over a year now but neither one wanting to be the first.  
"Mal I..."  
"I assume you have precautions for just this sort of event?" he asked breaking the spell.  
Inara nodded and gathering her skirts left for her shuttle, shooting one last glance at Mal from the door her dark eyes wide before she disappeared from sight.  
"Zoe, I want you here with me and Jayne-"  
"I'm gettin' Vera" Jayne grunted, already heading for his room.  
"Shepherd. You can pray if you think it'll help but if the time comes and we're boarded ain't no amount of praying gonna save you. However this will" Mal said while handing the preacher a knife. 

Simon glanced at River sitting in the corner her hands over her ears, knees to her chest rocking back and forth then to Shepherd Book calmly reading his bible. He looked at the gun in his hand and wondered if he would go to hell for shooting his sister and then himself.  
It was then that the Shepherd looked up from his reading his dark eyes crinkled slightly at the edges when he smiled.  
"Do not fear my son, the lord shall not condemn you for showing mercy to your sister"  
"How did you know what I was thinking?"  
"Easy to tell. You're a doctor it goes against your moral compass to take a life when you have trained to save them. If things go badly and you can't pull the trigger I could do it for you," the Shepherd offered.  
Simon's eyes widened and flicked to his sister again, returning slowly to the preacher. He nodded almost imperceptibly.  
"Let us hope it doesn't come to that" Simon sighed and sat down near his sister.  
"Indeed" Book said and returned to his bible, all but ignoring Simon and River.  
Simon however stared at the shepherd.  
What an odd thing to say, offering to kill River for him if he couldn't manage it.  
"Shepherd Book, may I ask you a question?" Simon said.  
The shepherd looked up from his bible with a smile, "What is it my son?"  
"What is it you did before you were a shepherd?"  
"Oh a bit of this and a bit of that," Book said dismissively but Simon would not be placated so easily.  
"Could you be a bit more specific?" Simon asked  
"Why the sudden interest in me?" the shepherd asked closing his bible.  
"Well you're a bit of a mystery, truthfully. I mean everyone knows where River and I come from, why we're here and the rest of the crew...Jayne's the Neanderthal but he's good when the Captain needs some muscle. Zoe well she helps the Captain on his sometimes harebrained scheme's plus they served in the war together and wash is the pilot plus he's married to Zoe. Inara is kept for respectability and Kaylee keeps us in the sky. That just leaves you, no one knows anything about your life except that you spent some time in down south abbey and now you're here."  
"Look son, you don't really want to hear about my life there isn't much to tell," Book said "unless of course you want to be bored senseless by tales of life in an abbey. Which believe me is not that interesting."  
"It's not like I have somewhere else to go or anything better to do. At a time like this I could use a little boring." Simon said.  
"He doesn't want to tell you," River said, stunning them both with her sudden interruption they'd both forgotten she was there.  
"Thank you River" Book said  
"He's trying not to think about the man he killed, so that he could steal his name." River added.  
Both heads snapped around to look in her direction.  
"Now see here young lady" Book began indignantly but River merely stared straight at him her dark eyes boring holes in his own, deep into his mind, reading his thoughts.  
"It's okay," she continued unconcerned, "that's what you tell yourself. It helps you deal with the guilt. He was a drifter, a criminal with no family. No one to miss him. Besides one less criminal in the world is a good thing. That's the story you repeat to yourself over and over, but it doesn't help, you still see his face in your dreams.  
That's why you joined the abbey. You believed that doing good would wipe away your sins, and it worked. For a while at least until the boredom of the same routine crept in. Every day the same, and then his face came back. You started to see him everywhere, in every face. Accusing. Ridiculing. Mocking.  
That's why you're here, it was the only way to escape your past. You don't see his face out here in the black."  
River went quiet and the only sound in the room was the ragged breathing of the preacher.  
Book opened his mouth to speak but never got to utter a word as the ship lurched uncontrollably and they were thrown to the floor.  
"What was that?" Simon asked to no one in particular, "Are we boarded?"  
"No" River's smile was beautiful as she stood and made her way to the door, "We vanished" she said, her pink skirt rustling as she exited the shuttle.  
The two men stared at each other as they picked themselves up from the floor.  
The air was thick between them with the unspoken question.  
"Well I say we go ask the Captain what's going on." Book said not waiting for an answer.  
Simon watched the shepherd leave the shuttle, mulling over the implications of what his sister had just revealed racing through his mind.  
Was it true? Had Book killed a man and if so was he truly a shepherd as he claimed or did he steal that too?  
River had read people's thoughts before.  
Either she was truly gifted and the preacher wasn't who he appeared to be or she was as crazy as everyone else seemed to think she was.  
The shepherd's reaction though...  
River was telling the truth Simon was sure of it.  
A sudden thought struck him. River may have just placed herself in grave danger revealing the preacher's secret like that.  
Inara appeared at the door to the shuttle her serene dark eyes wide and fearful.  
"Are we boarded?" she asked. Simon noticed the box in her hand. Just big enough to contain a syringe. Well at least the companion had a contingency plan.  
"I don't think so," he said walking out the door and into the passageway "River said we Vanished. Whatever that means."  
Inara gave him an odd look to which he just shrugged.  
"I suggest we go and find out."  
Simon led the way to the cockpit. The gun a heavy reminder in his hand of what they could be facing.

"Is that another firefly?" Mal asked, "This far away from nowhere?"  
"It sure does look like one Captain," Zoe answered, turning her attention to the approaching ship.  
"Where do you suppose that came from?" he mused more to himself than anyone in the cockpit  
"Well my guess would be they already passed through the wormhole before us, probably chased in here by those reavers" Wash answered.  
Mal ignored him continuing to ask himself more questions.  
"What do you suppose they were doing out here in the first place?"  
"Crime, I'd wager," provided Jayne, "same as us. That's the only reason anyone comes to this shitty end of the _goram_ galaxy"  
"What?" Mal seemed to snap out of whatever spell had held him.  
"I said-"Jayne began but was cut off by a signal coming through from the approaching ship.  
A woman's voice came over the com followed by the appearance of her face on the screen.  
"Hail fellow traveller, please identify yourself,"  
"You first" Mal replied  
"Okay so that's the way it's gonna be is it?" the woman replied a wry smile twitching the corners of her mouth, "Fine we'll play it your way for now. Names Reynolds, Captain Melanie Reynolds, who may I have the pleasure of addressing?"  
Mal looked at Wash and Zoe, then back to the screen shaking his head in wonder as he did so. What were the odds?  
"I'll tell you but you're not gonna believe me," Mal said  
"Try me," the other Captain replied  
"My name's Reynolds, Captain Malcolm Reynolds"  
"You're right. I don't believe it. If this is some kind of joke Captain let me assure you I ain't laughing"  
"Let me assure you Captain I ain't joking and if you don't believe me you can ask any of my crew here. Zoe, Wash, Jayne..."  
"Wait your pilot's name is Wash?" the woman asked, "and that hulking giant in the back is Jayne?"  
"That's what I said"  
"Hmmm, I'm beginning to believe you Captain Reynolds," Melanie replied  
"Look this is all very pleasant an' all but maybe we'd be better off continuing these introductions on land somewhere," Wash said causing all eyes to turn his way, "for example somewhere away from a wormhole that _Reavers_ may or may not be appearing from in the next few minutes."  
Mal nodded and turned back, in all the excitement he'd forgotten about the reavers.  
"Follow me," the female captain said, "there's a planet near here where we can get a drink and get properly acquainted"  
"Lead the way," Mal smiled and shut off the com, "Well now, isn't this interesting" he said to no one in particular.


End file.
